For decades, thousands of men have pledged a belief they promise never to forget: Every time a mustache is shaved, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth. In Chicago, the outlook is sunny with only a small chance of angel showers.
Chicago is America’s most mustache-friendly city, says a new two-year study by the American Mustache Institute (AMI).
Lake Michigan is largely responsible for its mustache friendly atmosphere, says Aaron Perlut, the chairman of the American Mustache Institute.
“Mustached Americans love water sports,” he says. “It’s hard to find a lake without a mustached American riding some kind of mechanized vehicle wearing a tank top.”
“And then you also have a heritage of the fishing industry on Lake Michigan and mustached Americans tend to flock to jobs such as de-scaling and actual fishing,” Perlut added.“Chicago has a very large first respondent force,” Perlut says. “Between police, fire, and the health care industry- as it relates to Emergency Medical Technicians, you find there are a very high percentage of men in those positions that wear mustaches.”
“Finally,” Perlut says, “Chicago has a very strong heritage of retired Chicago Bears that are classic mustached Americans, including Mike Ditka who was a finalist for the Robert Goulet Mustached American of the Year award.”
More than ten thousand people are members of the American Mustache Institute. After AMI found Chicago to be the most mustache-friendly city, the group decided to move their annual Stash Bash benefit from St. Louis to Chicago, a first for the 36-year-old institute. Held on Oct. 28 at 8 p.m. at Joe’s Bar on Weed St., the costume party with live music and a performance by U.S. Air Guitar Champion Romeo Dance Cheetah.
Supporters of AMI must make a series of pledges, which range from pledging to never own a cat or watch “Sex and the City” to lobbying the Obama administration by “asking him to grow a mustache during his first term to demonstrate solidarity with people of Mustached-American descent.”
Members must also pledge to dislike all things associated with Dave Navarro, an American guitarist who has played with the Red Hot Chile Peppers.
The event serves as a kickoff to Movember, an international mustache-growing charity campaign raising millions of dollars every year for cancers affecting men. This year’s U.S. Movember event is set to raise money for the Prostate Cancer Foundation and the Lance Armstrong Foundation’s LIVESTRONG.
Although Chicago’s mustache attitude seems to be an upward grin, Perlut says mustaches’ mark in society has had its ups and downs.
“During the 1970s, every man in this country had three things: A perm, a turtleneck, and a mustache,” Perlut says. “That was the heyday of the mustache.”
“The mustache was on life support in the eighties and nineties,” Perlut says. However, Perlut says the mustache made a revival in the last five to six years. “A lot of that has been driven by Millennials.”
“The current generation—people in their late teens and early thirties, are very much a mustache generation,” Perlut says. “People are very interested in expressing themselves and being individuals.”
“Young people have played a huge role in the resurgence of mustache popularity,” Perlut says. “It’s a pretty easy form of self-expression that you can alter. You can try a style, shave it if you don’t like it, and start anew.”
According to the American Mustache Institute, mustaches improve a person’s good looks by 38 percent.
Perlut claims his mustache dates back to when he was seven years old, which made growing up very difficult, he says. “Parents didn’t want their kids to play with me because they were afraid I would hurt them because of my readily attractive mustached American good looks.”
| THE AMI PLEDGESLobby the administration of President Barack Obama, asking him to grow a mustache during his first term to demonstrate solidarity with people of Mustached American descent.Applaud any Mustached American as they walk past me on the street.Castigate clean shaven mortals and remind them that their bare-lipped appearance is a sign of weakness and communism. | Dislike all things associated with Dave Navarro. | Continue my mustache growth in the extremely rare case that it causes significant decreases in sexual activity, friendships, and approval by society at large. | Never own a cat or watch “Sex And The City.” | Distrust clean-shaven officers of the law, and if approached by a mustache-free constable, dial 911 and proceed to a nearby police station, where a squadron of heavily mustached officers will greet me with open arms. | Consider the environment before shaving my mustache. | Never forget that every time a mustache is shaved an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth. |
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